Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
