The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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