I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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