So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
