wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
