I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
