I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
