so explain again why im purple
no
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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