If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
