Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
