Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
