google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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