My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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