so that wasnt chicken after all
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
