I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize