we have pet lesbian snakes
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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