Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
