maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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