Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
