He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
