Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
