is your mom at the bar?
In the future we'll all be gay
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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