In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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