tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
