need another drink. this is the easiest way
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
