last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
