is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Randomize
