hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
