Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My feet surprised me
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