i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
