We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
