my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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