What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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