Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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