Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
