Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had to cum in my sink.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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