Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im just a social blackout drinker.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
