his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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