he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
