actually, I'm a sock model
You're my little dorito
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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