I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
