I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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