I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
