And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
