it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
