i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
