What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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