For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
