alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
