you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you had me at cake vodka
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
