Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
