if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize