I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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