I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
