i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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