Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
